Your Story

Free Your Mind From Fear

Tristins Way

by James
(NY NY)

SILENCE DRAWS MY HEART INTO DEPRESSION
ALONE TO REFLECT ON MISSING YOU
I AM DRAINED OF ALL MY EMOTION
My minds beliefs have been damaged
I feel as if beyond repair.
Does anybody really care?
My heart is taking a pounding
Like the shores from the sea
Wave after wave I can feel my heart cave.
Somewhere you are watching all this
Just know it is you that I miss.

I love you.

Daddy

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Fear of losing another

by Pam Montambo
(Shelby, MI USA)

Keith Daniel Montambo

My husband and I lost our 19 year old son, Keith, on November 13, 2004. Keith died of a drug overdose, but you see, we didn't know he was using drugs.

The day of Keith's funeral our daughter (Keith's sister and only sibling) found out that she and her husband were going to have a baby, our first grandchild. How terribly hard those months were for both Jennifer and I. She wanted me to be happy about the coming of my first grandchild and all I could do was grieve for Keith. I was so afraid this baby would be a boy and look like Keith. Luckily it was a girl. Two years later I did have to face the idea of a little boy. After kissing my new grandson, I walked out into the waiting room and cried.

It is now four years after Keith's death and I have a granddaughter and grandson. They bring me so much joy but they also bring so much fear. I am always afraid that something will happen to one of them and I would have to see my daughter go through the hell that I did. Our granddaughter was missing last summer for about an hour. She had walked out of her yard and across an open country field. All I could do while driving to be with my daughter was to yell at God, telling him that he couldn't take my grandchild away from me, that he couldn't do this to me again. I don't know if I will ever get over this feeling. Losing a child is so great a pain that never goes away. Sitting here typing about Keith and how I feel, I am crying. After four years, I am still crying. I am still afraid.

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I lost my son Mark

by rima rached
(lebanon)

4 October 2009 was a morning like so many days before this day will be carved deep with my heart. He was going with his sister and his friend to spend the weekend at their cousin's house where the accident happened. Before they left I pulled them back with a hug and a kiss and told them to have a good weekend and to take care of themselves but I didn't know that this will be the last time my son Marc will walk through my door. I received a phone call from my neighbor at 3:00 A.M at midnight telling me that my son had an accident. On my way to the hospital it took forever, I felt the road way too long. When I arrived at the hospital I entered the intensive room and saw him sleeping like an angel. I kissed him, hugged him, talked to him but there was no response. Meanwhile the doctor entered the room and told me that my son Marc was pronounced brain dead. I can't express what I felt that moment I couldn't do anything to help him. Till now I'm not able to believe that he's gone. I cry every night holding the pillow with his picture on it. I miss him so much. I will never be the same mother to my surviving children or the same wife to my husband. Till now I can't forgive the men who shot him who is living his life normally without any regret. I am waiting for the day that I will meet my son again…

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Missing My Son

by Diane Ulbrich
(Rocklin, CA)

I lost my son almost 5 months ago he passed away on Sept 6th 2008 due to a dirt bike accident. I can't stand the thought of moving on without him. I am angry and don't understand why he is gone i know he would've never wanted it this way. He was loving and loved Nascar. We went to concerts together and had a lot in common. I have a daughter who is 16 and find myself now not knowing how to be a mom anymore. I feel like i am losing her and my husband. I wish this sadness would go away but yet i know it will always be there.

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SBI!