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Parental Grief Research Study
by Shirley Patterson
Shirley's Survey is now complete, and if you would like to find out more you can contact her at her website: http://www.thepattersoncenter.com A Sister Robbed From Me!!!
by Gabriele
October 3rd, 1987, 04.14am, Within a blink, my life changed forever. As I investigate the commotion I know fully well what was at hand, my sister Pina battling another asthma attack. By now as I laid eyes on her, Dad applying CPR, my brother Pat preparing oxygen mask, mum waiting for the Ambo all the while screaming her name in the hope her screams will awaken her from this nightmare, I stood motionless aware all hope was gone, surreal to feel all this in a blink of an eye. It was too late. So brave my sister was, she often felt them coming on, and would try and fight it head on, almost willing herself to beat it and not let it dictate her plight.... A fighter she was, my sister who I looked up to for hope, being ripped away from us.... At 18yrs of age, too young for her to be gone. To say how brave she was is easy, to explain how special she was always breaks me. Should have been me that was taken, or at least I wished, in order she lived to be all she could be... She wanted to help others, speech pathology or medicine, and how great she would've been. Yet ripped away from us, again, in the blink of an eye. To say I still grieve is normal, as everyday those images haunt me. I lost my drive, my hope and my childhood, as after this I worried for my parents and made sure I stayed close, while my mates played in the park. Don't get me wrong, as I'm blessed with great relatives, who comforted and cared, but the feeling always is, like being in a large crowded city and still feeling like you're all alone. Like feeling lonely in a crowded room.Yes, Fear became my mistress, shutting everyone out to hide this feeling. She'd be looking down thinking, get on with it, as she hated fuss, but easier to mourn than to drum up the energy to move on. Yes, grieving is a process, cried many nights and learned to except it as, just life... But to see your parents, both loving and true, wither away and disheveled, just eats away at my soul. I have learned to love the good things and deal with the crap, as bad as I may feel, there's always someone worse off. Sis, I know your up in heaven watching over us, please understand we just miss and love you so bloody much.... Although 21 years have passed, like yesterday do those images survive. To all others suffering, please know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!, please o please talk to someone or maybe even write them down. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Each day, each hour, each second, someone out there feels what we feel, so often does this afflict the human condition, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! We are here with you..... Never deny your feelings, never be shy to voice them, for others to relate to you they need to understand what you endure... I hope my words help someone, as I know plenty suffer, I hope and pray you keep your head up, and always true to your heart.... Regards, Gabe Tascone |
