Parenting Advice

Parenting advice is not hard to find. With thousands of books some with guidelines to follow, and others with specific actions to take for specific behaviors, the information can feel like overload.

As a new parent many many years ago, I still remember trying to follow the how to's in parenting books, and feeling as if something was just not right. Not only did I experience conflicting feelings, when I did, I'm grateful that I finally choose to follow my instincts and threw away some of the parenting books!

When you become a parent, your instincts is one of your best tools and learning to trust this is the best thing you can do.

The stressful part of parenting was the doubting in my own mind. Was I doing it right? Would my child somehow be affected by not being put to bed at the same time every night? Was the fact that they never wanted to sleep in their own crib something to worry about? I would hear many comments from well meaning people all with different suggestions, and yet when it comes to our children, our own intuition, will lead us to doing whats best for them,if we listen.

Parenting advice can be very helpful. The most helpful advice of all I discovered, was when my children were older. My oldest was a teenager, and I was attending Dr. Gordon Neufelds week long workshop called The Power to Parent. Understanding the developmental stages, and the developmental approach to raising a child rather than the behaviorist approach, was the most important parenting advice I would have ever needed.

With this approach, we learn to trust our own intuitive wisdom. Foster and strengthen this wisdom, and trust that we are doing the best we can with the resources we have.

With this approach, we learn the importance of attachment with our child and how important this attachment is. Fostering and building this nurturing attachment is the key to helping them grow up. As a parent we are their best bet, and as their anchor and their support, it does not matter what age our child is at. They will always need to know and see us in this place of power, and in this place of knowing what's best, because we really do, yet we've given much of our own parenting power away.

The best parenting advice anyone could ever give you is: That it's never too late, to build a loving relationship with your child. As parents this is our responsibility, and as parents it is up to us to always make the first move towards building this relationship with our children.

There are two very well known authors, speakers and theorists, that I am aware of today that go into detail about the important roles of parents

Dr. Gordon Neufeld

has written a book called Hold on to Your Kids, Why Parents Matter.Dr. Neufeld travels all over the world giving workshops to professionals and parents about the developmental approach. He explains many different things we see such as counter will, and aggression, anger and more importantly he explains how many of these behaviors are instinctual rather than on purpose. When you understand what can create these instinctual reactions, and how your child may have no control over this, you begin to see the behaviors differently.

Sometimes the very thing we do as teachers or parents to stop a certain behavior, may create the response we want at that time, and yet we may not recognize at what cost. This behavior which we've now stopped, can create something much worse and it can stay hidden, and suppressed.

Another well known author speaker and scientist is

Dr. Dan Siegel

His book titled: "Parenting from the Inside Out," explains in detail how the way we parent during the first 8 years of a child's life actually shapes their brain.

This is just one, of many books Dr. Siegel has written about how the brain works, and this particular book describes in detail the importance as parents, of doing our own work, and understanding ourselves.

You will not find step by step explanations on how to handle a specific situation, what you will find are ways for you to begin to dig deep inside your self, and to begin to lead by example.

If you are familiar with either of these theories, please share your own stories and comments at the end of this page.

Different Learning Styles

Thank you for reading my parenting advice. Click here to return to the Home Page

Positive Changes change Your Life!

“You either control your mind or it controls you.” ~ Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...