Parental Grief
Parental grief doesn’t follow the "natural course" of nature, and is extremely difficult to comprehend and accept for parents let alone others. Because of this it brings up many feelings of which some are feelings of inadequacy, guilt, blame, and shame. Not knowing this can make you believe you are not capable of protecting your children, and that you may have let them down. You may believe you've lost your mind...
One of the biggest things you can do for yourself is to seek specific counseling or a specific support group which deals with Parental Grief
Would You Like To Take Part in a Parental Grief Research Study?
If you are a parent who has experienced the loss of a child, please help with this study. Click on the link or scroll down to the bottom of this page and receive more information about this study.Your loss is a traumatic experience. This lasts a life time, and changes everything. Speaking with other parents who have experienced this loss, will ease your mind away from the notion that you are crazy. The thoughts and feeling you experience are real, and you are not alone. It is not normal for Parents to outlive their children. Because of this we will continue to imagine our child growing in our minds. This is a very normal experience that grieving parents will always live with. This is one of the differences between the grief processes and many many professionals and people in general may not be aware of. We do imagine our children at every stage and age they would have been if they were alive. We are not crazy, and yet this may make us think and believe we are going crazy.
Yet this is Parental grief, and we are perfectly sane, only forever changed.
This is why it is so important to speak to others who have experienced parental grief. Sometimes it is hard to imagine that anyone else has these same feelings and thoughts. Listening to others share their own stories reassures us that we haven't lost our mind, and allows us to accept ourselves and our feelings.This may ease the beating yourself up emotionally that goes on. Guilt and blame is part of this grief. After awhile we may tend to keep most of these feelings buried inside when it is so important to let them out.Pretending to be strong, and in control, creates the opposite, because it continues to feed the guilt and blame. Yes, it is very normal to feel more dead than alive.
From personal experiences, there were times I felt like I had lost control, and like I had lost the ability to really parent my other children. How could I ever take care of them, when I let my son down. My beliefs really created this outcome. My household had a very different atmosphere after our loss, and yet, I had been searching and trying (sometimes I realize I still do),to recreate what I had before. I wanted normal again, and yet it could never be that way again. What really is normal anyway. I felt like I was spiraling backwards one minute and then I would compose myself, feeling in control, and just as quickly I would spiral downhill again. Every time I felt I was in control I would find myself falling deeper and deeper. (Yes this sounds so crazy it's crazy, and yes this is so normal) By this time years had passed. (I had done a really good job of resisting or so I thought.) I even believed this wasn't normal, because others were telling me so... and yet I was still grieving, and yes judging myself.... I was judging myself because I was still grieving, and this was feeding my fearful self with more fear.
Crazy? Some may believe so.
Yet, you can always question the authorities. Question your counselors.......question your family and friends. They may not understand that
Parental Grief creates this
You can help them understand, by sharing your story.
Today, I know everything was exactly the way it was meant to be
Parental Grief Share your story when you are ready
If you would like to share your story please use the form below to express your loss. Also check out the links below to other websites which may help you with your own grief. Take the time to read what others are saying and remember to express your feelings always.
Share Your Story with Others
There are certain times in our lives when we feel all alone, and isolated.
When we take the risk and speak our truth we discover others who do understand, That's all it takes to make a difference.
What Other Visitors Have Said
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
Parental Grief Research Study
My name is Shirley Patterson and I am a Master Degree student conducting a research study on PARENTAL GRIEF. There are many aspects to grief which touch ...
Grief Net
Carol's Journey

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