Listening is the most important part of communication

The Art of Listening is something we can all use more practice learning how to do because most of us are not really hearing the other person and this is one of the reasons for conflict in relationships either personally or formally.

The reason for this is that most of us are too busy making mental notes in our own minds and getting ready to respond. Sometimes we don’t even allow the other person to finish their sentence before we butt in with our comments. We cut them off, and may even say, "I know what you're saying" and then begin to offer advice, or begin to tell them our story. When we're dealing with a conflict, we can also be triggered by comments and this can feel like an attack and we respond back in a way which creates more conflict. Listening requires your complete awareness, and it requires your full attention. It also requires learning how to stay out of the story, and make no judgements on anyone. It is one of the hardest things to do unless you are conscious enough to not get caught up in the story.

When you begin to make judgments or even offer advice you have not heard the other person at all. We do this constantly and innocently enough at times and we often wonder why the person we are conversing with is angry, with us. The art of listening requires the use of your EAR, which stands for Empathy, Awareness and Respect.

The next time you are in a heated conversation give them your EAR. Be aware of your own thoughts and notice if you are forming conclusions or attempting to finish the other person’s story, or offering advice.Offering Empathy Awareness and Respect begins when you can step out of the story and not make it real or take it personally. This is how you begin to see it differently, and to change your reality. These moments, are part of the process, and very much part of the learning.

Just remember: The basic need of every human being is to be seen and heard.