Listening is the most important part of communication

The Art of Listening is a skill that is the most important part of communication, and we can improve upon. It is this skill that improves relationships, and ends conflict, and has nothing to do with agreeing or disagreeing. This seems to be the misunderstanding by many. Being able to listen to what someone else is saying, has more to do with letting the other person know they've been heard.

Most of our time spent in conversations, seems to be about us wanting to be heard. We make mental notes in our minds and prepare ourselves to respond, without really hearing what the other person is saying.

How many times have you not even allowed the other person to finish their sentence before butting in with comments, suggestions or advice?

When experiencing conflict, the triggers have more to do with our own perceptions rather than what is being said. If someone appears to be attacking you verbally, it's because the other person is not feeling heard. It can feel like an attack and by you being aware of this one simple skill, you can let them know they've been heard and not because you want the attack to end, but because you can feel what they are saying from your heart. With empathy for the other person. With awareness and respect for their feelings. This is the power of love, and yes, it can diffuse the situation. This ability to listen requires our complete awareness, and full attention. It's a skill that can be learned, and it requires the ability to hear what the other person may not be saying. This ability comes through the heart, not the mind.

Learning how to stay out of the story, and making no judgments is one of the hardest things to do. That's because our mind gets in the way, and learning to hear from our heart, and a place of love rather than fear, can create a very different outcome.

When we begin to make judgments, or offer advice we have not heard the other person at all. This trying to fix, someone else, is the culprit. We do this constantly and innocently enough at times and wonder why the person we are speaking to is angry, or upset. First of all no one needs fixing, and the ability to listen requires the use of our EAR, which stands for Empathy, Awareness and Respect, is the Art of Listening.

The next time you find yourself in a heated conversation, notice, and then give them your EAR. Observe your own thoughts and notice and be willing to step out of story, and listen to what's not being said.

Empathy, awareness and respect begins as we step out of the story, release all of your judgments, and not take things personally.

No matter what anyone may be saying to us, we can change the outcome, as long as we do not take it on.

Remember: The basic need of every human being is to be seen and heard. This equals love.

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SBI!