Listening

So you find yourself listening to someone, it could be your children, spouse, friend,boss doesn't matter who. You have the eye contact and all that other stuff that shows them you are paying attention. As you face this person, and as you try really hard to hear what they are saying, you notice that your mind starts to think about what you will say to them when their finished. You start making a mental note in your mind of the way you are going to phrase you reply.Then you may start to wonder why they are telling you all this, or maybe you wish they could hurry up. You might even cut them off, and interject with your own situation, with sure as hell beats what they're saying right now, or you may just say, I know what you're saying and I don't need to hear any more, and begin to offer advice. Stop! Did you hear anything that this person was saying? Seriously, what did you hear?

Listening is communicating

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who said they were paying attention, yet you found yourself feeling like you had not been heard?

Listening is a important part of communication. It takes more than body language, it takes your complete awareness, and it requires your full attention.This is a skill we can all learn, and with practice becomes a new way of being, and interacting.

What it really boils down to, is that

I have no right to make any judgments on anyone...not even myself

and it is extremely important to use our EAR when it comes to listening Quiet simply EAR stands for Empathy, Awareness and Respect.

The minute I hear my own thoughts reaching any type of conclusion, or make an attempt to finish the story for the other person,or find myself becoming upset, what has really happened is I've been triggered inside of myself and , I have gotten caught up in the story

I have stopped hearing. When we can't hear others, how do we really know we've heard ourselves?

Being seen and heard by others, and us seeing and hearing others, from what I have been experiencing in my own life, is a very difficult to do when we are not in the moment. Especially if while we are listening: We believe we have the answer, and forget to get out of the way. This simply means catching ourselves when our thoughts begin to wander off. And it also means bringing ourselves back to the present moment, and focusing.

These moments, are part of the process, and very much part of the learning.

I know exactly when I've stopped hearing, and have begun judging others, the same is true when I have stopped hearing myself, and have begun judging my actions or words.

It happens when I notice, I'm getting a hit or a judgmental thought by what someone else is saying to me, or by what I am saying to myself.Those are the times when I know that I need to get out of the story. Those are also the times, when I don't beat myself up when it's taken me hours or days to see that I was caught up in the story.It's never too late to be the change. When we understand this simple truth, we all want to be seen and heard, we begin to heal, and change. Ultimately is really means being able to hear and see our truth, that which we really are.

Every human being needs to be seen and heard


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