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Your Family of OriginLooking at your family of origin is the place to begin if you want to make peace and heal your current issues. The experiences you have yet to heal from that time, are what you bring into all of your relationship's today. As John Bradshaw says, "When you Heal with Your Parents, your whole like changes." It is those old wounds, which will continue to run your life today and will continue to repeat themselves in all of your current relationships. If you would like to See All Books by John Bradshaw, click the link here. If you have any doubts about this, there is plenty of resources for you to do your own research. Healing your own issues, frees you from your own baggage and addictions. All of us enter into relationships with our own baggage. We carry it around where ever we go. As you begin to notice how your current relationships bring up all of your unresolved issues you can begin to heal, and accept what it is that you can heal in your self.Compassion and empathy for all of your experiences, begins this process. Understanding that your past does not have to be re-created when you accept responsibility will help you begin to release these old patterns, which are exactly the way they are meant to be, in order for you to heal and find peace.
Your thoughts and beliefs stem from your developmental stages, and have created your perceptions . If during this developmental stage, you lived in fear, then chances are you are still repeating this pattern, and your subconscious beliefs will put you in a state of fear, whenever situations arise which bring up similar feelings. Our developmental stage is a a critical time in childhood. Thoughts and beliefs originate here. Understanding this, makes it possible to notice areas in our own life where we may be stuck.These are the areas to re-visit in order to help your self grow up. John Bradshaw calls it re-championing your inner child. Others call it re-parenting. The feelings and emotions which first originated during this period will continue to come up when ever we are faced with similar experiences. The current situations may appear very different, but the feelings are the same, and this is where the focus lies, because if you allow yourself to be aware of the feelings, you will notice that they are old. The next time you find yourself reacting to a situation, stop and notice your feelings, and ask yourself when you felt these feelings before.As we understand ourselves, we begin to understand others. Learning to have compassion and empathy for ourselves helps us compassion and empathy for others.This is the importance of understanding your family of origin. When you understand and accept yourself, you begin to see your situation differently. We all have a wounded inner child living within us. It is this wounded child which continues to re surface in our relationships. It is our responsibility to re-parent and heal. our core issues. These core issues are running your life today. When you recognize this, you can change the outcome, because as you heal your own thoughts and beliefs, the triggers will no longer affect you. If you want more imformation, I recommend you read John Bradshaw's The Home Coming: Understanding your Family of Origin.You will find this book along with all of his books about healing your own inner child by clicking on the link above, or in the resources below.
Everything seems to lead to
doing our own work, and understanding our own selves.
We no longer have to feel as if we are helpless, and powerless. Nor do we have to be
scholars or scientist to understand what we already know within us.
Recognizing that patterns from your family of origin are repeated over and over is the purpose of revisiting your Family of Origin. When you heal with your parents, your whole life changes This is how you begin to put the pieces of your own puzzle together. This is how you begin to heal your inner child.You may believe that forgetting your childhood experiences and never looking back is the way out. Yet, repressing your past will sooner or later create reactions in you. Either in relationships, health, or some other big wake up call. We can not suppress things without having them spring up somewhere else in our lives. Reaction is an age regression When we are triggered by someone or when we react to a situation, what is happening is we have regressed to an earlier age in our own lives. At time when in our own family we saw situations dealt with this way. Notice this the next time you find yourself in an emotional situation, or are angered by another. Ask yourself how old you are.It is difficult to see these qualities in our self and we usually see them in others. We also react because we are basing the experiences on our own experiences from our past. If there are qualities you may not agree with in your partner, children, friends, or with society in general pay attention to these qualities. Can you find them in yourself? What we judge in others, we haven't accepted in ourselves. Whenever we are triggered by anyone, we are really triggered by what we have yet to accept and heal about ourselves. It's that simple.Notice, and accept this in yourself, and begin to look at your experiences differently. Take responsibility to heal your past and break the cycle. Most importantly, remember that your family of origin was exactly perfect because your experiences make you the person you are today.
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