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Looking at Your Family of Origin Helps You Make Sense of Your Current Relationships" Family of Origin " is the first place to explore when your current experiences are not what you want them to be. This is the most effective way to help yourself begin to understand and make sense of your current relationships and every signal aspect of your life today. When you are ready to look and explore your first family and observe your own unresolved "baggage," you heal and change every single relationship in your life today. When you can accept responsibility, for how you bring all of your own unresolved baggage with you into every single relationship, you can begin the process of taking responsibility, and taking control of your life. As hard as this may be for some of you to believe, the emotions and the feelings that you believe someone else is responsible for creating, all originate here.Resisting and refusing to look into your family of origin, can be devastating, and destructive. It puts your own power into the hands of others, keeps you small, and feeds your own addictions. Taking control, has nothing to do with making others wrong, or hiding behind these addictions. Taking control is the willingness to begin making sense of the meanings and perceptions you give your experiences today. This is crucial, because your beliefs and your thoughts create your feelings which are your emotions. They are deeply connected, to all of the experiences in your life today. Many people however, have a difficult time seeing this, or even wanting to hear it, because they are so far removed from themselves, that they've forgotten this truth. They are so far removed, that they continue to blame, and judge others. These are the people so deeply defended against their own vulnerability, and when we notice this in others, what we can do is begin to ask ourselves where do I blame or judge?We do not have a right to try and change others because they have their own path to follow. The opportunity is to remember we are the only person we can change. The beliefs about ourselves can so subconsciously embedded, that we can't even see the connection between our earliest experiences. Yet, The Meanings WE Gave To Our Experiences, continue to be the same meaning we give to our current experiences. This is where you can change your mind and heal your life. Questioning your thoughts and beliefs, changing and releasing the ones that that no longer serve you,as you discover what is true for you is the process that begins as you revisit your family of origin. It's never too late, and it doesn't matter whether those experiences happened to you as a child 10, 20, 30, 50, or 60 years ago. What you haven't healed from your past will surface and continue to surface over and over again, until you HEAL. You may you have already begun to be aware of this, and others may have a difficult time seeing the connection. The place to always begin is to notice what your wake up calls are today. When you are truly wanting to change the direction of your life you must be willing, and committed to begin looking at your own family of origin, because as you heal your own unresolved family of origin issues you no longer are affected by them today.You can stop the abuse, control, the violence and drama in your life. Only you can decide just how important and how badly you want to heal your life today, because there are no coincidences, and everyone who is in your life today is there for very important reasons, and they bring with them a gift; the opportunity to heal your life with love. No two people ever come together, "without similar unresolved family of origin issues. When you believe your intimate partner is abusive, controlling, and violent, you can continue to believe the story and continue showing your children how to recreate this same type of relationship in their lives, or you can stop running, and begin to accept responsibility, and heal your own life. This is a choice and if you are fortunate to have begun to see this pattern in your own life, be grateful for the opportunity to find your way to love.The purpose of all relationships is to heal you unresolved family of origin issues, and you don't need to share this information with your partner, nor do you need him to do the same. We can only grow ourselves up as we release the false perceptions and re build them with new thoughts and beliefs based on love. This is how we change all of our relationships today. Some will grow with us, and others will disappear from our lives. It is not our job to decide who stays and who goes. It is our job however to remember self love. This is the context of all relationships and as you heal the relationship you have with yourself the relationships around you change.Keep an open mind, soften your heart. Hear this o quote from John Bradshaw: "When you heal with your parents your whole world changes" Remember that the people around you may leave, or you can leave them, and yet "Wherever You Go There You Are. You can never run away from yourself, and yet this is exactly what happens when relationships end, or the going gets too rough. So many people walk away from relationships, as they blame each other, or themselves. So many will walk right into another relationship, unwilling to look at themselves, only to discover years later, that they've recreated a relationship exactly or even worse than the last one.It may be time to stop running and revisit Your Family of Origin. Resources
The Attachment Theory Explained
I Need Your Love, is that True Scientific Evidence to heal yourself One of the best ways to begin is to write down everything you remember about your childhood. Write down as much as you can about how you were disciplined, how your parents got along, and whatever you can remember about your parents childhood, and so on. As you write, begin to notice the feelings that come up for you. This process could take days, or weeks, or just a few hours. Once you are done, you might want to continue writing until you get to your current life and experiences. Start noticing any patterns or similarities. Feel free to contact me, if you would like some assistance, or have any questions. Parental Grief and the Loss of a Child
Share your story of Parental Grief, and the loss of your child. Writing your story will help others know they are not alone with their feelings. New! CommentsHave your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below. |
