Your Family of Origin and your Relationships
Your "Unresolved Family of Origin issues " which includes all of your own unresolved baggage is brought in by you into every single relationship. It may be hard to believe that the emotions and the meaning you give your experiences today are very deeply connected to your own experiences from your past, and to the meanings you gave those emotions back then. No two people come together without similar unresolved family of origin issues, and the purpose of all relationships is to heal your own unresolved issues and grow up. This is the context of relationship and understanding this simple concept can transform your life completely To quote John Bradshaw: "When you heal with your parents your whole world changes"The Truth of this matter is that "Wherever You Go There You Are. We can never run away from ourselves, and yet we do this constantly. So many people walk away from relationships believing that someone else is to blame. They either blame the other person, or they blame themselves and see themselves as failures. Many will walk right into another relationship and maybe they realize or maybe they won't yet we are all repeating the same patterns, which originated in our own childhood. Creating the same issues without understanding that we create this and we are responsible for changing this when we realize this truth.When you accept the truth of wherever you go there you are, you can begin to look within and at your current relationship in a very different way. You can have compassion and empathy for self and others when you take away the blame and guilt and begin to heal. Your relationship is full of opportunities for you to heal. When children are involved, this becomes your responsibility and a more motivating reason to begin the process of understanding your family dynamics and healing your past. The truth, forgiveness and unconditional love is how you create this for yourself and more importantly do it differently for your children.
Your own children are one of your biggest motivations as a parent. You can choose to break the cycle in a conscious and loving way. Now that you know you have no excuses.
"When You Can Heal With Your Parents Your Whole Life Changes"
This is how you Break the Cycle.....
Breaking the cycle involves the courage to look within. A commitment to stop pointing the finger out at everyone else. A desire to make a difference, and a willingness to begin. Once you can accept this, the work involves that you heal yourself and find forgiveness for everyone who has hurt you or caused you emotional pain. This is for your highest good, because this forgiveness is for you. Releasing all negative emotions you have about others, and it includes your anger, frustration and ultimately all of your fears. Revisiting these emotions and feelings in a conscious way involves inner work, and yes it may feel like a vulnerable place to be in. The truth is you revisit and relive the same feelings and emotions from your family of origin every time you react or are triggered by others in the present moment. The only difference is you don't stop to questions or consider the emotions or feelings that the reactions or triggers bring up for you. You forget to ask yourself when was the first time I ever felt this way, and this is where you heal and change. As much as we all may believe that our past is behind us, all of our emotions and feelings are stored in your subconscious mind. You may convince yourself that this isn't for you, you may find yourself coming up with many excuses and reasons. Excuses are a form of running away from what is, and that's okay because we all hear and face what we are meant to face at exactly the right time for us.
Revisting Your Family of Origin
helps heal the wounds which could be creating disease, grief, and wars in your own mind. It makes you aware of your core issues, your beliefs and it allows you to accept, forgive and love yourself unconditionally with compassion. This is who you are, and loving yourself unconditionally is what you are meant to remember. You have an inner strength and Everything in Your Life Has A Purpose We all have this inner strength and we are all exactly the same. No one is better than another unless this is what we believe and feel. We are the only ones who can change this for ourselves.. Healing yourself starts with forgiveness. Be Willing to Consciously choose to explore your family of origin. Re- visit your feelings, with an intent rather than a reaction. Acknowledge your feelings and feel compassion and empathy for how you managed to keep yourself safe. Realize that everyone does the best they can with what they have every moment in time. Finding peace and love with your parents begins by you you releasing your old pain. You will see life in a positive way. You will transform you energy and change your life. I have faith in you You were meant to be happy and it is up to you to create this happiness for self.
Links to help you with your own family of origin
The Attachment Theory Explained
Your Inner Child
I Need Your Love, is that True Scientific Evidence to heal yourself
Take the time to write your own story because it is a way to release your pain and releasing helps heal your family of origin issues. Write down as much as you can about your own childhood, and as much information as you can about your parents childhood. Reflecting back allows you to see where you're going today.
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