What are the effects of fear for you and your children?

The effects of fear or traumatic events from experiences during early stages or developmental years can create a lasting impact which can arrest developmental growth in children, and can continue well into adult life. In fact there is much research to show that it does continue into adult life and it affects every relationship and every aspect of your life.

This initial fear can continue to be reinforced by experiences and situations, perceived as similar by our subconscious minds later on in life.

When you understand how your minds work, then you can begin to understand how this fear continues to manifest in your own experiences. Understanding this in yourself allows you to begin to understand the same in another and more importantly as parents, in your children..

This understanding and knowledge creates in itself a different energy and can diffuse situations of aggression and bullying which are all caused by the effects of fear. Often times we look at the behavior, and our initial reaction is to stop the behavior, by implementing more time out's and consequences. Sadly it is these strategies which continue to reinforce the fear, and can create more negative experiences which continue to increase this fear and sometimes even suppress it.

Our job, as parents, and teachers is to brings new eyes into all situations so that we may see it differently. This understanding is to help you see and handle alarming situations with compassion and empathy. As you begin to see the cause of problem behaviors as a fear of separation, or lack of attachment, you can alter the way you see the behavior, allowing you to move forward.

***John Bradshaw***

Educating yourself and understanding how the effects of fear may have arrested your own development is crucial because this knowledge releases the need to impose your own self and your children to more of the same experiences and more separation.

As parents, teachers, and society in general, this education is beneficial to everyone, because we are all the foundation by which all children begin to see their world. We are all teachers, and whether we have our own children, or work with children, it is our responsibility as the adults to do our best for the benefit of all children.

We all are in relationships with others, and we all bring our own perceptions created by our own subconscious beliefs into all of these relationships. Understanding our own family of origin issues is our responsibility. The feelings of security and safety begin here, and they begin with each and every one of us taking responsibility and healing. Knowing that our own experiences or traumatic events may have created an arrest, and a defended state in ourselves, knowledge can free us from these experiences. Knowledge can help us understand ourselves and more importantly as we become consciously aware of this we can heal and change our reality.

Many of us begin to feel as if it's too late for us and that once we understand this it may be too late for us to help our children, and there is nothing we can do. There again, we create excuses and what we are doing is determining our own destiny and that of our children in our care. Remember that IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE THE EFFECTS OF FEAR.

Only you can create the change you want to see around you.