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The effects of fear based beliefs

As parents, and teachers understanding the effects of fear based beliefs can help create more positive experience, and make a difference for all children in a world that through their eyes, may appear less promising.

Dr. Daniel Siegel; author of "Parenting from the Inside Out" shares the importance of our roles, and explains that we parent shapes our child's brain.

Dr. Gordon Neufeld author of "Hold On To Your Kids", talks about the importance of the developmental perspective. Sharing this information with professionals and parents, to create a better understanding of our instinctual reactions to the effects of fear.

Dr. Bruce Lipton a cellular biologist, shares his proven theories about fear, and the developing brain, and

Dr. Gabor Mate, author of "When The Body Says No",

shares his experiences with terminally ill patients, and so much insight about how our early experiences create thoughts and beliefs that shape the rest of our lives.

Knowing the importance of all this, we can always do something to change this. As adults we can do our best to re parent our own inner child, and release those negative beliefs we've carried for so long. We can learn to be a very different parent than our own parents. We can do so through love, and acceptance.

The way we parent and teach, is a crucial aspect, and has a lasting impact on the lives of our children.

This knowledge, is meant to be used, to help create more loving experience by "helping parents and teachers choose different approaches to the way we parent and teach." This approach is meant to change us, and move us. These are the differences that create positive experience, and can create a safe place, from which to grow.

This safe place is in the mind, because no growth is possible when fear is present.

Understanding this developmental prospective, requires that we immerse our own self into it, and look at our own childhood experiences. Consider how those early years, have had an impact on our own lives.

This helps you begin to notice the the effects of your own fears, and as you begin to grow yourself up, you can take the responsibility to ensure, that you do your very best in making every child's experiences, a much safer and less threatening one.

When we make it someone Else's problem we lose the potential. It isn't acceptable, when we have the opportunity to create a level of attachment, and can build a relationship, which from this place of attachment, begins to make a difference. Understanding your own developmental stages as a parent and teacher, helps us become more compassionate and understanding, and begin to see how fear of separation either perceived or real, is behind all problem behaviors.

When we consider the experiences and the context in which we were parented, and how we've parented, helps us understand our own children.

Maturation process

When the maturation process has been arrested, this will affect a child's ability to learn. We label this arrest as a learning disability, or behavioral problems, yet these labels do nothing but make us approach each situation with a label attached. We put up a wall in our own minds, rather than being open to the possibilities. When a child seems to be showing certain symptoms or not learning a certain way, we are quick to suggest that maybe there are other problems, and we believe their is no hope. These labels do nothing to help anyone.

These band-aid solutions may actually hinder rather than encourage growth.Many of the so called "behavioral" issues which at times appear as if they are deliberate, are in fact an instinctual reaction caused. Knowing this may not change what we teach the child, yet I do hope it will change the way we interact with the child, because "We can all play a part in making our interaction safer, and one based on attachment, rather than performance." Change begins as we change ourselves. The effects of fear, creates a separation, a shut down of the brain as it prepares to fight or flight, and for many children this effect is constant. How can anyone learn under these conditions? It's not possible to learn, when the mind is not at rest.

You can begin to change the effects of fear, no matter how traumatic or repetitive or horrific you believe a child's experiences have been. Your presence can be the opportunity to help a child move through, understand, and build upon a foundation which always begins with love and acceptance.

Your perception can make a difference, in a child's life, and you don't even need to know anything other than somewhere there has been a fear of separation. How you offset this, is by creating a sense of attachment. This sense of attachment can begin to create a place of rest for the mind, no matter if that place of rest is only for 10 minutes a day or 24 hours. All of it makes a difference in the developmental growth, and can begin to create a safe home base in which maturation and growth can begin to take place. It is our Perception that needs to change because as a parent or a teacher, we are the adults. We can begin to look beneath the problem behaviors and find out what this child is needing. We can begin to build upon that need, and build upon the relationship from a place of attachment. Rather than blaming others, we can help the children in our care emerge, grow and mature to the best of their abilities, no matter what.

Learning disabilities and behavioral "problems"

Change your perceptions, and see the child's gifts. See the child. Bring new eyes to each individual.

A learning disability or a "behavioral problem" can stem from a vulnerability or a sensitivity too much to bear. You don't have to know every exact detail, about the whys or whens, or whose, because all you have to do, is SEE these behaviors or learning challenges, differently. See them as a fear of separation. See them as " A cry for Love." See them with eyes of compassion and empathy, and change the way you approach every signal situation.

Rather than making your goal about changing the child, explore and question how you can create an attachment, a safe base, in which a child can begin to emerge, grow and feel attached. Yes the effects of fear can be changed to trust, acceptance and love. You could be the agent of change, creating a safe base in which a child can rest.

When ever you find yourself believing that a child's behavior is intentional, think again, and choose to remember it's instinctual, and stems from the effects of Fear. When ever you are in doubt, remember fear of separation, doesn't matter where or when, what matters is that you begin to approach each child from a different place in you.

Seeing these situations differently, from the adult is what creates in the adult a different energy and it is this energy, this acceptance, and this unconditional love which will always be your best best. Without attachment no one stands a chance of diffusing the effects of fear which show up with behavior such as aggression and bullying.

These are the effects of fear. Often times we look at stopping the behavior, by implementing more time out's and more time talking about how it's too late to change this child. Sometimes we spend so much energy wanting to blame someone or something for the behavior, and we are so focused on stopping the behavior, and sadly we don't even realize how we continue to reinforce these effects of fear. Remembering that at it's very root, a fear of separation, will soften our hearts, and with the softening of our hearts, we have the opportunity to make a difference.

Change your thoughts, change your mind, change the way you see, because although well meaning, believing that the intention is being done to you on purpose, only reinforces the effects of fear and continue to suppress and arrest maturation.

Our job, as parents, and teachers, and human beings is to brings new eyes into all situations, "So that we may see it differently. CHANGE THE EFFECTS OF FEAR.

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