Destructive Self Talk and the Mixed Messages it SendsHave you ever observed how your destructive self talk affects the clarity of what and how you communicate? Yes to others naturally, and more importantly to your own self? Something we may have read about and there are many books to help in this matter. Habits are something though that usually become part of who we are and we rarely notice until someone else is kind enough to mention or remind us. So, are you applying this to yourself? The Four Agreements.........A useful little pocket book to understand the simplicity to assist you in changing your destructionHere's some more useful information to question and ponderThis information was taken from Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy(1990), by David D Burns.Reading this information is excellent, and practicing brings you the results. Make yourself aware of what you say and how you say it. Take it lightly, and turn it into a game. We will always catch ourselves and catching ourselves and changing the way we say it and do it are the opportunities to use! Just the other day as I was leaving a message on a friends answering machine I noticed my destructive self talk. It went something like this: Hi there, it's just Rita, nothing important, call me back if you have a minute. Just as I hung up, I noticed the words I had used. I called again and this time I said. Hi there, it's Rita, I have something important to talk to you about, please call me back as soon as you can. Destructive self talk makes us feel powerless, and unimportant. It's a habit, and it becomes a condition that comes out of our mouths without our control, unless we become aware, and are awake to notice. When you notice, choose again, because we all have free will. Definitions of Destructive Self-TalkAll-or Nothing Thinking: You see things in black-and-white-categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.Over generalization: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.Disqualifying the Positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or another. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.Jumping to Conclusions: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusions. a) Mind Reading- You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don't bother to check this out. b) The Fortune Teller Error- You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact. LinksDestructive Self Talk and Giving an Honest Response
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