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The Death a Child creates ...... A poem for TristenThe death a child creates in their parents has a lasting impact on our lives. Losing Tristen created a death in my soul which for the longest time made me see this experience as anything but a gift. Years later I wondered, could it be a gift if I allowed it to be? When I said my good byes to Tristen, I had hoped to have found a reason and purpose to all of this. I was hoping to have received such a gift. You Will Always Be Our Son Before you were born our heart's were stifled in limbo; not knowing if we would ever get the chance to know you, hold you, love you. At birth you came out crying; so beautiful was that sound. We brought you home not knowing how long we would be together. Your time with us was shorter that we'd hoped; but the love and joy you brought into our lives was more than some lifetimes.You brought new meaning into our home. You've enhanced our understanding of what real strength and love is. You'll always be our baby. You'll always be our son, and although we will never see you grow into a man, you will always grow in our hearts with us.You will always be a part of us as we grow from the experience we have gained knowing you.October 27, 1995-December 24, 1995 In the 14 years since Tristen's birth, and death, I think about him daily. The death a child named Tristen created in me couldn't go any deeper than it has. Today, I see how this is a part of me which is meant to be forever, and I am so grateful for experiencing the gifts of Tristen. Before, I was able to make sense of all of this, there were times I felt as if I'd failed him. I didn't see how the death a child created in me put me into a very deep state of fear. I see today, how this was necessary for my own healing. The type of family I thought we should be after going through such an experience together is very different from what I have today. I wanted to believe that if nothing else, this experience alone, would have kept us close and together after his death. Together I now realize means different things for different people, and I have no business believing that I am responsible for this any longer. Today, I can see the death a child named Tristen created in me as a gift which has shown me how to love myself unconditionally. As I heal myself, the greatest gift of all, is that I have found myself, and am creating my own sense of peace from within.
Leaving The Death a child creates back to parental grief
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