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The all or nothing personality
Are you an all or nothing type personality? Do you see things in black-and-white-categories. How do you feel when your performance or that of another falls short of being perfect in your eyes? Do you feel like a failure?... Do you see and judge others as failures? You may believe things need to be done a certain way, with no exceptions to this rule, yet how is it working for you? You may believe it gets the job done, yet, if on the other hand you find yourself reacting, or stressing out, or if you find others distancing themselves from you, maybe it's time to look at your way of thinking. If you find that your relationships are not what you had imagined or that life seems to be a struggle, look a little closer at your thoughts. What strengths has this personality created for you, and can you begin to see this aspect of your personality differently? When your thinking has you believing,that it's either "all or nothing" how do you react? Does this make you feel like a failure? What type of perception are you creating within you? Maybe you feel compelled to convince other people to your way of thinking, and maybe these personalities are very strong influential people, yet what ends up happening could be a very conflicting and stressful life.When things aren't working out, this could be the part you can begin to question and explore. Be curious, and begin to recognize your feelings and get uncomfortable and allow yourself to let go of form and outcome, and just be. If you find that you have people in your life who are this way, and they trigger you very much, can you find the quality in them that you dislike? Can you find this, in yourself?Focus On Your Feelings.It's okay to find this in yourself, because as you focus on your feelings and begin to notice this quality in you, you can release it and let go of the resistance, and find relief. Be willing to explore, because it's asking for your attention.This all or nothing way of thinking is a way you keep yourself in control and guarded. Look at it, with compassion and empathy. Is it still working for you, or is it time to let it go? in a totally new way. My guess is that this belief was created because of experiences in your childhood. and this little child inside of you is asking to be seen and heard. Can you accept this part of you. Can you see and hear your inner child, and help yourself without forcing it on others, and can you accept this part of others, without believing it's being forced on you? As you accept all of you you can begin to let go of what no longer serves you. By understanding and being aware, and by noticing the reactions of others and how this may make you feel, you can let go of the defense that this all or nothing way of thinking is creating. Ask yourself: How does this belief work for me, or more importantly how did it work for me, and does it still serve me?Only by being aware of all aspects of ourselves, can we begin to change what no longer works for us. This work is about changing aspects of yourself which no longer serve you rather than changing anyone else. When you believe that someone else needs to change, or a certain event or situation needs to change in order for you to stop feeling a certain way. , you are creating your reality by default, and like a failure you have given you power away. Notice your answers. Take control of the things you can change, your thoughts. It begins as you embrace all aspects of yourself, and have compassion and empathy for you.The All or Nothing Way of Being. How is this working for you?
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